Tiger Woods’ License Suspended After Court Determines He Is Half-Asian

Posted on 09/03/2026 7:57:10 PM PDT by Impala64ssa

JUPITER, FL — A Florida court suspended golf legend Tiger Woods' driver's license for five years after an investigation determined that he is half-Asian.

County Court Judge Darren Steele issued the ruling after prosecutors presented overwhelming evidence that Woods, despite his physical appearance, is part Thai and Chinese.

"For the safety of the public, we cannot allow a half-Asian back on the road," said Judge Steele to Woods. "If you were just a quarter-Asian, perhaps we could work out a deal. But 50 percent is way too much. I hereby immediately suspend your driving privileges and order you to have a driver — of a non-Asian variety — to always chauffeur you to your destination."

Woods appeared dejected, but did not attempt to protest the ruling. "I deeply apologize to my family, friends, and all my fans for callously choosing to drive despite being part-Asian," said Woods in a statement. "The facts are the facts. I knew what I was doing was unsafe, yet I chose to do it anyway. I accept the court's ruling and look forward to moving on with my life."

Funny, his eyes look pretty round for someones who's half Asian 😉🤣🤣. Seriously, how many woketarded schmucks will believe this?

1 posted on 09/03/2026 7:57:10 PM PDT by Impala64ssa

OMG, that is a RIOT! LOL Bees.

2 posted on 09/03/2026 8:03:51 PM PDT by GreatRoad ('In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act' )

3 posted on 09/03/2026 8:14:32 PM PDT by Magnum44 (...against all enemies, foreign and domestic... )

According to Wiki he is more Asian than black or white.

4 posted on 09/04/2026 5:53:16 AM PDT by Doulos1 (Bitter Clinger Forever!)

5 posted on 09/04/2026 5:57:00 AM PDT by dfwgator ("I am Charlie Kirk!")

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